Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the Uncategorized category.
Back and Bigger Than Ever.
It’s been forever since I last wrote. I feel fully settled into life in Arizona, am busy with spouse activities, lots of volunteer activities, writing jobs and…growing a baby!
I decided to start blogging again when I re-discovered how much reading other people’s blogs and thoughts helps me be creative, explore new things and can actually change my attitude about life’s trials and tribulations.
For a quick review of the past two months:
- My husband’s cancer is in full remission. We will have blood work done every few months a full CT scan completed every year.
- I found out I was pregnant on July 12. I am now 19 weeks along and we are in full baby planning mode!
I have had a pretty easy pregnancy so far. No huge complaints and only one random (but violent) vomiting period. The biggest hurdle for me has been discovering how much my body can change while I have absolutely no control over it. I have always been pretty health conscious but when I moved to Arizona, I worked out every day. I planned good, healthy meals and weighed myself weekly. Now, a quick 30 minute walk is a big achievement whereas a few months ago, I wouldn’t have even called it a workout!
Strong, fit and happy last Halloween
Since becoming pregnant , I have gained 13 pounds. This is very normal for being 19 weeks pregnant. My body can’t run 5 miles like it used to, it actually can’t run one mile. I am fully aware that people run marathons pregnant, but I am just not that person. I get out of breath pretty easily and with low blood pressure, start feeling faint. Until Baby Unwritten makes his debut in March, it’s easy workouts for me.
A Different, Strong, Fit and Happy Last Week.
For now, I have promised myself to enjoy the ride for the next four months and to not be hard on myself but rather, allow myself to experience this miracle day by day.
Still Unwritten
Rules Were Made To Be Broken
Ah, Monday. Monday morning came early to our household. After the fun of the weekend, all military personnel had to report to the flight line wicked early for a FOD (foreign object debris) walk. The reason was good – all debris needed to be removed from the flight line so that nothing got sucked up in the multi-million dollar jet engines. In my head, it made sense. But my bed was so warm and cozy and the car seemed so far away. So, the wonderful husband ended up walking to work (its only like a 10 minute walk for all you haters out there) while I snoozed for another few minutes…until the dog decided he needed to go out. And so, my Monday began.
I headed to the gym and hated every minute of it. It was an weirdly “cold” day here (as in it didn’t break 80 degrees) and it actually rained. Real, live water coming from the sky. Hallelujah! The perfect Monday for sweatpants and some serious unpacking. But first, a run. Normally the drive to the gym is the worst. But, today, I still felt like I wanted to come home after actually getting on the treadmill. I made myself run two miles and promised myself that if I still wanted to leave after two miles, I would. After two miles, I was still ready to come home. So I cut myself a break and did. And it felt really good to just leave. Forget my four mile every other day “rule”. I was tired, dang it.
I found a blog post from Shut Up and Run about breaking the rules. There are so many “rules” about what you should eat or should not eat, how much, if any, red wine you should drink, how much sleep to get – it’s impossible to follow one “rule” without breaking another. So, here are the rules that I break. It’s actually kind of sad because I don’t break that many rules. I actually can’t think of 10. Pathetic. I usually get 8 hours of sleep, I don’t eat after 7 pm (often), and I will hunt you down if I catch you littering.
But, here are nine good ones. Go ahead and judge away.
- I don’t believe in dryer sheets. Such a waste.
- I always forget to put on deodorant in the morning so I carry deodorant in my purse, in the car and in my gym bag just in case.
- I sometimes forget I have not had an actual real conversation with my dog and often compare your kids to my dog. It’s not an insult, I promise. I am just trying to relate!
- I screen 90…nah, more like 100% of my phone calls.
- I never listen to voicemail. Ever. That’s what text messages are for!
- Washcloths really gross me out. They are like little wet carpets. Gross.
- I pretend to be annoyed when there’s only regular Coke around and no Diet Coke, but really, I like full sugary sweet Coke just fine.
- Why do colors and whites HAVE to be separated, especially if you know the colors have been washed a million times. They aren’t going to run.
- I deliberately overuse cliches to annoy my husband. This week’s favorite - “You’re killing me, Smalls”. Another past favorite, “Chop Chop!”
What are the rules you break?
Oh, almost forgot – our new living room furniture came today! Good thing we got Stafford a new chair.
Home Sweet Home
Stafford and I took some pictures of our new home for you, as promised. Bear with me, as the unpacking process is just that – a process. Most of the boxes you see are empty but we don’t have any furniture! Coming from a very small place in DC to a
big three bedroom house with a yard is a big adjustment.
Speaking of the yard, let’s start there. It’s our favorite part of the house. I have big plans for this yard but will start small with basic weeding and mowing…
From there, Stafford and I ventured onto the back patio. We are working on getting a nice table and chairs for outside before the heat comes!
Our living area is where we have our TV and our lazy couch. It faces the kitchen that has an awesome bar. This part of the house is meant to be a really chill area.
This is only half of my kitchen! There are two more sides to it. For those friends familiar with my DC kitchen – whoa! I have so much counter space! Cooking is so much easier! Please note the two DELICIOUS cakes on the counter. One from Pantry Chef and one from another military family.
Our formal living room will be in the front of this room and the formal dining room in the back. We have formal living room furniture coming on Monday and no plans yet for a formal dining room. But, when we do find our dining room table, the glass table will be moved outside as a patio table.
Upstairs, we have three basic bedrooms, two full baths (with dual sinks) and a laundry room! As you can see, there is plenty of work to be done around here. It’s hard because we know we will be leaving in a couple of years and our furniture will need to be able to make a transition to a new house with a different floor plan.
But, as the past few weeks have shown us, you never know where life will take you. Bloom where you are planted and take one day at a time. I think that means I get to paint and decorate because you just never know how long you will be somewhere!
Overall, we are grateful for this house and know it will be a good place to rest and heal from treatments and other things life throws at us.
Plus, Stafford LOVES his new home. A yard, stairs and carpet keep him busy all day!
Welcome to Fighter Country
It’s hard to miss the large water tower on base that says “Welcome to Fighter Country”. Our base trains fighter pilots, thus the nickname. I just can’t help but think how fitting it is for us to be here, in “fighter country” during this chapter of our lives.
When we received my husband’s cancer diagnosis, I kept thinking the doctor would follow the diagnosis with a “just kidding” or a “but don’t worry folks, we have this super pill that will make this all better.” When he didn’t say those things, my next thought was, “What can I do to make this better?” When I realized my usual stress response of shopping or cooking wouldn’t fix this, my stomach flipped. No amount of purses or shoes could make this go away. There was nothing to do but face it and fight it.
It may seem like I have abandoned my goals in the Still To Do section, but I have actually been working on them. At first, they were something to do to keep me occupied and now, they have become even more important to me as everything else has gotten more than a little crazy. I like schedules and I like to have a plan. So, while everything else in my life has thrown immediate plans to the sea, my personal goals keep me on a plan. I can’t control cancer and I can’t control other people but I can control me. And I am choosing to make my own goals a priority.
I have been waking up early to get to the gym and stay on a running schedule. I have been staying up late to fulfill my Lent commitment to read “A Purpose Driven Life”. It just takes a little maneuvering. But, that’s how it works in Fighter Country. Just ask those F16 pilots.
So, here we are. A couple of fighters in fighter country. It’s not easy and I know my body is experiencing the physical signs of stress. The least of which I found yesterday…
Things aren’t all bad, though. We moved into our home on base on Monday and it is beautiful. Stafford has a decent yard to run around in and because there are no bugs and the weather is perfect, we leave the back doors open all day. We have a couple of extra bedrooms for you to visit and are taking one day at a time.
Pictures of the house to come tomorrow!
For As Long As We Have Voices
Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love” wrote, ”In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”
Through this whole horrible experience, we have seen the best in people. We have been surrounded with angels. From emails to phone calls, we have felt loved.
There are three people in particular who came over Tuesday night, packed us, fed us, cleaned our apartment, planned our trip, found hotels on the route, cancelled our internet and are still collecting our mail. We met them two weeks ago. When I told my sister in law of their kindness, she asked me how you can ever repay someone for doing that.
I think the answer is that you can’t. And that’s okay. You just have to remember it and give of yourself just as freely as they have given to you.
Just Go With It
Today turned out nothing like I had planned. I had planned a full day with a stop at the gym on base, the chapel on base, some freelance writing at home and giving the apartment a good cleaning. Plus, Stafford definitely needs more spring handkerchiefs.
The day was supposed to be full of errands! Running into some friends on base totally changed my whole day.
We ended up hanging out and doing lunch at our place. I was thankful to have people over to eat everything that I had made! I like to cook but with only two of us, it makes for a lot of leftovers (and sometimes waste. ugh). Thankfully, the blackberry crisp is about gone! Yum!
Then we decided to continue our lazy afternoon and went to see “Just Go With It”. A perfect movie for a day that felt like we were just “going with it”. That movie was hilarious. And I am not even a big comedy fan. It was just so funny. A good, mindless movie for sure!
So, although my day was nothing like expected and I was not productive in the least, it was a great way to spend a stormy (but also an 80 degrees) Monday in Montgomery.
The way I see it, there’s always time for work and errands but I only have seven more weeks with the amazing friends we have made here!
Speaking of amazing friends, the Montgomery Humane Society has put out a new video for their adult dogs. This is a just a few of the dogs in the shelter. I normally work with the babies but the adult dogs are pretty awesome.
Still Unwritten
Baby Steps
Today is turning out to be another full day! The husband is in Florida until tomorrow so I got to “sleep in” this morning – meaning I didn’t have to wake up until an 8:15 cardio kickboxing class. The class was a lot of fun and a lot of hard work. The classes at the gym have been a great way to meet other women. This morning we all bonded over our lack of preparation in packing for these few weeks in Alabama. Who would have thought to bring coasters or enough plates to entertain? I guess it’s the little things!
Class was followed by an amazing brunch and puppy play date with new friends. Delicious. Brunch was a frisee salad (the second one I have had since I have been in Montgomery. It’s a new thing to me), french toast and a fruit granola parfait. Stafford and I were thankful for the food and fun but mostly for the graciousness of our new friends.
Sometimes the wind catches his ears.
I realized that I haven’t actually started in on any of my goals, so I took my first baby steps today. I signed up for a 7K (4.3 miles) on March 12 in Montgomery. I think this is a good stepping stone to the 10K. Although, because of the extreme heat in Arizona, race season is actually November – April so there are not any 10Ks in the area until November. If any of you Arizona peeps hear of any 10K’s around Phoenix, please let me know.
I also ordered Purpose Driven Life. The premise of the book is that every human has a divine purpose and that God has a specific plan for every person’s life. I wonder what mine is?! I am planning on starting the book on March 9 for this Lent season.
Off to cuddle with some puppies at the shelter for the afternoon! Enjoy!
Still Unwritten
Extraordinary People
This blog, in general, is not going to be about life as a military wife. To be honest, it’s a little overdone. However, this blog post may relate more to military life than others so hang in there.
I was given the opportunity through the Officer Spouses Club to listen to Dan Clark, a former Oakland Raider who overcame paralysis through a hard hit in the NFL, speak this morning. What an honor. His presentation was so motivating, I had to share it.
It is easy to feel forgotten in the military life. It is easy to feel left behind. Every two years my husband gets a new office, an instant network of people to be with everyday. He gets a new job. He is given a purpose. The same is not true of spouses. It is easy to sit inside all day with the kids or the dog and feel sorry for circumstances – a busy or deployed husband, a new community, no friends, whatever your circumstances may be.
He encouraged spouses (and really, everyone) to stop being victims. To get involved. To participate. Because getting involved and participating is what makes you feel significant. And when you feel significant, you develop what he called “covenant relationships”. Differing from “commitment relationships”, “covenant relationships” are a one way street. Covenant relationships don’t change based on what someone else does or says. The way someone else acts does not have to change who you are or how you treat people.
It is up to us to prove that we are needed and significant. He said that part of finding that proof means that, “We must pay any price, travel any distance to be with extraordinary people.” That really struck me because I have a lot of extraordinary people in my life. You know them because you are them. Extraordinary people make us come alive and when we come alive, our world and our views change, even when our circumstances don’t.
Okay, enough of my preaching but I had to share his words of wisdom because that’s what started this blog. For me, this blog is a tool to tweak my bizarre circumstances and use them for my, and hopefully your, advantage by learning and experiencing new things. I hope this encourages you to get out of your routine, to find your passion and to find what makes you come alive.
Right in My Front Yard
If you have read the About section, then you are familiar with why I have this blog and why I decided to start documenting this time of my life. If you haven’t, the short of it is that I have this unique opportunity to find my passion and explore a ton of different things to find out what I want to do with my life. No more watching endless marathons of Bravo for me.
Day one of my new outlook started right in my front yard.
I have officially been in my new city for 20 days and have not taken the second to step outside my front door and walk around a bit. There are historical plaques all over Montgomery marking huge events in our nations history. So, this morning, we put on our walking shoes and explored our new city. While Montgomery is no Chicago or DC, there is a lot of history here, especially surrounding the Civil Rights Movement.
We will only be here for two more months and I want to soak up every second of it, finding the best in this very small city.
Our first stop was right outside our front door.
This is where Rosa Parks got on the bus and refused to give up her seat starting The Montgomery Bus Boycott. That chick was awesome. Next to it, was a smaller plaque where Alpha Kappa Alpha, an African American sorority had honored her by giving her an honorary membership. Shortly following the bus incident, Ms. Parks and her family had to leave Montgomery because of threats against her life.
Next up was the Dexter Memorial Baptist Church. Essentially, the Civil Rights movement started in this basement. Martin Luther King, Jr was the preacher here for six years in the late 1950s.
On to the State Capitol Civil War is still a big thing down here. The Alabama Capitol served as the Capitol of the Confederacy until it was moved to Richmond, VA in 1861. 
There was a ton of historical monuments and statues to see that made me really appreciate the sacrifices people made, of all races, to ensure all Americans had the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
The trip definitely made the new city feel a little more like home to us. Your friendly neighbor, Mr. Rogers, used to carry around a quote that said, “There isn’t anyone you can’t love once you know their story”. Well, I feel the same way about this city. I hope that learning more about its history and importance in our country’s development will lead me to love it.
